Politely Correct

It is no longer P.C. to refer to gay people as “gay”. Not everyone who is gay is actually gay. Some gay people are unhappy. And, some happy people are ungay. To refer to gay people as “gay” is gaycist, so wipe that smile off your face.

And, just because I am “straight” does not mean I am straight. I tend to curve a bit to the left (if you know what I mean). I am not mean for saying that, just honest. Maybe that was too personal.

In fact, I am not typing this on my PC, I am typing on a CC. To refer to this device as a “personal computer” is too selfish and exclusive. Therefore, I am now using a “community computer” or CC, for short (for the greater good, of course). And, not “short” in terms of stature. And, I am not saying that to make up for the fact that I prefer using GNU/Linux with KDE instead of Gnome.

Speaking of political correctness, since when do politics have anything to do with correctness? Just because Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize does not mean he cannot start more wars than the previous president. Sorry, I mistated. They are not “wars”, they are “kinetic military actions” or KMAs for short (not referring to stature, of course). Furthermore, the previous president turned out to be correct about weapons of mass destruction (or WMDs for short, and yes short as in not tall tales). How’s that for a precedent? Goerge Orwell might have something to say about it, war is peace and drone strikes are ladybug kisses afterall. Whether left or right, right or wrong, politics and correctness are obviously not related. So, let’s now refer to it as “politely correct”. That way we can keep things PC while typing about stuff on our CC.

When it comes to being PC, there is nothing more politely correct than referring to someone as “racist”. First of all, a race implies competition. How can there be winners and losers in a politely correct society? And, who started the races to begin with? Did God start the races? Is God racist?

Oh, and sports. America is the only country PC enough to not refer to a sport played predominately with feet as “football”. No, that term is reserved for a sport played predominately with hands. Let’s be the only country to call it… “SOCCER!” (with two Cs for extra phonetical correctness). We are the most PC country in the world. F Yeah and F U metric system! Inch by inch, feet stomp all over puny centimeters all the way to the Finnish line! Oops, sorry that was racist.

When it comes down to it, we need to overcome the concept of national boundaries and all come together. Everyone must be the same with nothing to say and never think outside the box, because everytime anyone says something or thinks something it could be interpreted as impolitely incorrect.

How do you like that? Are you so happy with the new PC that you are going to add yet another retarded unboxing video on youtube? If not, you must be gaycist!

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