No Escape from the Cookies!

This morning I was thinking about another invention that I’m never going to get around to building because it is too complex.

Two hours later I’m standing in front of the gas pump at a Shell station. There is a TV above the pump spewing out advertisements. Everywhere you go, somebody is trying to sell you something. This particular delivery method is a good strategy. I wouldn’t doubt it that the advertising is more potent, because they have your undivided attention and you are inhaling gas fumes.

Ads at the Gas Pump

On the internet, companies use cookies to track your internet usage and deliver targeted advertising based on your browsing habits. I think corporations have found a way to use cookies in real life. Why? Well, the first ad that came on at the gas pump was an ad for InventHelp. InventHelp is a company that helps inventors patent their idea and get them into production. Uncanny!

Real Life Cookies

How have companies actually started using cookies in real life? During my last hypnotherapy session, I remembered what I thought to be an alien abduction. I now know that this recollection was mistaken. Perhaps it was a combination of the gas fumes and the uncanny timing of the advertising, because it all became crystal clear while standing at the pump. I had a series of flashbacks and realized that it wasn’t aliens. No, it was Wal-Mart!

Mal-Wart is at it Again

While I was sound asleep in bed, Wal-Mart came into my home and implanted an EEG (ElectroEncephaloGraph) biochip along with a GPS (Global Positioning System) transmitter that tracks my thought patterns and sends them to the Wal-Mart advertising division via satellite. Wal-Mart then aggregates all of my thought data and sells the reports to companies. Wal-Mart knows where I am and what I might be interested in buying at any given moment. I think they have also been sharing this information with the traffic light gnomes, who have an ornery sense of humor. It seems that every traffic light I encounter turns red right before I’m able to make it through the intersection. Also, traffic lights like to stay red for what seems to be an eternity, even though there are is no cross-traffic in sight. I have to admit, the last time this happened I just drove right through the red after waiting more than 30 seconds without any cross traffic. Damn Wal-Mart! Damn traffic light gnomes!

Time is a Wasting

So stupid! I need to get my butt into meditation retreat. All this thinking about inventions that will never be made, Wal-Mart abductions and traffic light gnomes. Time would be spent in a much more meaningful way by focusing on developing compassion and enlightened qualities instead. Time is precious and we never know when the next breath we take will be our last. When that moment arrives, all the possessions and identity we have built up during this life will disappear and the only truly useful thing will be the depth and stability of realization we have developed. In my humble opinion, gaining spiritual fortitude and benefiting as many other beings as possible while still alive is the best use of this life. Whether in retreat or engaging the world, this doesn’t exclude living life to the fullest. There are infinite possibilities and if we are interested in developing spiritual awareness, it is up to us to choose a path that best accomplishes our goals.

No Escaping the Cookies!

Despite this aspiration, I know that even if I were in retreat there would be no escaping the cookies. I can see it now. While sitting in meditation on a mountaintop, a plane flies by with this banner streaming behind:

Is your Zafu becoming a pain in the ass? We at Yogi Lifestyle Inc. have just what you need! Our patented meditation cushion technology allows you to sit longer and meditate stronger. Just key-in your credit card information using your EEG biochip and within 48 hours, your new Zafu will be delivered to the entrance of your meditation cave. Sorry, no CODs.

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