New Year’s Resolution 2015

I do not remember exactly how long ago it was, at least a number of years (perhaps more than a decade,) I began to notice the frequency with which “you know” is uttered in dialogues. “Are you desperately trying to convince me? No, I don’t know. But I do know that you are saying ‘you know’ too often.”

As time passed by, at some point I got infected. Just a small infection, like clearing the throat while thinking of what to say next. But now, if not consciously controlled, it is a full-blown speech disease, like an onslaught of tourette’s-induced inappropriateness. How could I let this happen?

In fact, America has a pandemic of Involuntary You Know Syndrome that threatens the very fabric of human discourse, and it is spreading to other countries. Forget Ebola. The TSA should be chatting people down before they leave the international airport and the FCC should be bleeping that sh*t out!

You know you know what I mean, ya know? You don’t? Oh… You know has got to go!

Another word that crops up in conversations a bit too often is “like.” It seems that I start saying like unnecessarily when feeling exuberant or playful with what I am talking about.

I like, like to lick lichen
like a leprechaun.
 Long-winded lounging on a lilypad.
 Lickity split!
I spit out the like.

And there is one more that like totally has to go, you know. “Totally.”

Perhaps a frivolous concern, but this is my New Year’s resolution for 2015 — to eliminate the unnecessary and/or inappropriate insertion of “you know”, “like”, and “totally” into sentences where they do not belong, with the emphasis on “you know.” I do not expect total victory by tomorrow and I do not judge anyone else who has succumbed to the habit. This is just a personal quest to clean up my talk and achieve a more lucid flow of words.

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