It’s Good to be the Mayor

american-flag-2a.jpgI’m often confused for someone else in Santa Cruz. It’s pretty much guaranteed that at least once a month somebody will think they know me. But, I’ve never been mistaken for the Mayor!

On my way home from a rain drenched and electricity deprived downtown Santa Cruz, I decided to duck into Tortilla Flats for some enchiladas. Shortly after being seated, a tall dapper gentlemen with greying hair who was wearing exercise garments walked straight over to my table.

“Termini?” he seemed to know me. I felt like I had just walked off the plane at an airport terminal. “You are Termini right?” I shrugged. The guy seemed convinced I was Termini. After a bit more conversation he revealed that Termini is the mayor of Capitola and that he had something to tell him.

He walked away a little embarrassed, and the waitress returned. I told her that the gentlemen thought I was the mayor. She said, “Yeah, the mayor comes in here all the time.” She left after I had ordered and the guy walked by again. I told him that the Mayor comes in quite often. He didn’t know this, but said he could imagine since Termini lives right nearby.

After finishing dinner, I decided to investigate this Termini character. It’s not often that I have the opportunity to actually see one of my Santa Cruz doppelgangers. Lo and behold, there he is: Mayor Termini. Nice! He even has a blog! Mayor Termini is beginning to look more and more like me. Err, make that former mayor.

In light of this, I have found my calling. It is time to begin a long illustrious career of politics and mayordom. There will be many changes. I will begin my term by mandating the following:

Mayor’s Day – May 1st will be declared a National holiday to honor our mayors. We already celebrate President’s Day, it’s time to bring it closer to home.

The Mayor Hymn – It is no mystery that mayors are our local communities unsung heroes. Mayors work tirelessly day in and day out at City Hall to ensure that we have plentiful drinking fountains and wonderful public bathrooms to enjoy. To rectify this, it will be mandated that all children attending public schools shall sing the Praises to My Mayor hymn before class begins. The hymn will be written by yours truly. There will be a piano accompaniment written in C Mayor.

Mayor Monday – In addition to Mayor’s day, every Monday will be a day to remember our mayors. No work will be performed on Monday, and all citizens will fast. The only sustenance to be taken on Mayor Monday is mayornnaise. How better to honor our mayors than a weekly contemplation of their deeds while eating mayornnaise?

International Mayor Awareness Program and Outreach – It really doesn’t matter that other countries may not even have mayors. There is simply no excuse for failing to meet the basic human need to honor mayors. The Praises to My Mayor hymn will be translated into all of the worlds languages so that every child in every country everywhere may sing the mayor song and remember their deeds. I will also be championing a program to ensure that impoverished children starving in third world countries have plenty of mayornnaise.

The next time you go to vote, cast your vote for the guy who looks like Mayor Termini. It just mayor may not be the best decision you’ve ever made.

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