Category Archives: funnyz

Kosher Krazy Kikes

KKK Did you know that a kosher wine must be created, bottled, opened, handled and poured only by Jews, otherwise it becomes not kosher? To put this in perspective, imagine if there were organizations certifying that no Blacks, or any other race, had been involved in the creation of wine and that each ingredient in a food adhered to pedantic rules about what can / cannot be eaten and that livestock were slaughtered with horribly inhumane methods.

Woah, Wait, What…

They already exist and have been around for thousands of years!??

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Bacon Litmus Test

Bacon StripIf we are on a date,

and you will not try even one delicious bite of bacon

(non-GMO, locally raised of course)

it just isn’t going to work.

You know, pH / chemistry, that kind of stuff.

No Bacon = No Love Makin’ + Heart Breakin’.

But we can still be friends…

maybe.

Sorry, that’s the way it is.

Guys have their dignity and boundaries too.

New Year’s Resolution 2015

I do not remember exactly how long ago it was, at least a number of years (perhaps more than a decade,) I began to notice the frequency with which “you know” is uttered in dialogues. “Are you desperately trying to convince me? No, I don’t know. But I do know that you are saying ‘you know’ too often.”

As time passed by, at some point I got infected. Just a small infection, like clearing the throat while thinking of what to say next. But now, if not consciously controlled, it is a full-blown speech disease, like an onslaught of tourette’s-induced inappropriateness. How could I let this happen?

In fact, America has a pandemic of Involuntary You Know Syndrome that threatens the very fabric of human discourse, and it is spreading to other countries. Forget Ebola. The TSA should be chatting people down before they leave the international airport and the FCC should be bleeping that sh*t out!

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