iseyz

Multiple Choice: Please choose which of the following candidates from the 2012 presidential election is most qualified to be the next president.

a) Mit Romney

“Stuff the ice chest”

b) Rick Santorum

“I’m crazy, and I’m right…”

c) Newt Gingrich

“I want to crump, but don’t want to push it”

d) Rick Perry

“Save a pretzel for the gas jets”

e) Hermain Cain

“Everybody needs toucan stubs”

f) Michele Bachmann

“With one cock-eyed boar, I’m going to cure everybody who is nauseous”

g) Barack Obama

“Let’s creep in the frozen aisle and think one thought”

h) Ron Paul

“We can achieve much more in peace than we can ever achieve in these needless, unconstitutional, undeclared wars.”

In no particular order, you are a workaholic if:

1. You look at the clock, it is noon, you haven’t eaten breakfast yet.
2. You look at the clock, it is 4:30 PM, you haven’t eaten lunch yet.
3. All of the above (most certainly a workaholic) (continue reading…)

From the computer manufacturer who pioneered the brilliant idea that one mouse button is more than enough,

Behold the Macbook Air!
(light as air or full of hot air? you be the judge.)

From the computer manufacturer who brought us the “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” advertising campaign,

Behold the Macbook Air Ad!
(like cilantro, you either love it or you hate it.)

The good thing about this ad is that it provides some new material to parody for the merry youtube pranksters. (continue reading…)

In no particular order:

1. I’m going hunting this weekend, do you want to help with the skinning?
2. I couldn’t help noticing your breasts. Mind if i squeeze them later?
3. Do you accept Jesus Christ as your savior?
4. My dog sure seems to like you. Are you down with a menage trois?
5. The tattoo? Actually, that is my prison number.
6. You totally remind me of my mother.
7. Among other things, my girl… ex-girlfriend just died and left me with 3 kids. I’m looking for something long-term and stable.
8. I look really good in a turtle-neck… and naked from the waist down… with argyle socks on.
9. My greatest talent? I have the world record for quickest clear on the final level in Doom III. And, I own every Nintendo 8-bit cartridge game ever made, all of which I have beat.
10. Yeah, I’m self-employed. I make 90 bucks a pop at the sperm bank.

iseyz presents: Santa Cruz Restaurant Review – Guide to fine-dining in Santa Cruz. Having lived in Santa Cruz for a good part of the past 12 years, I’ve had the opportunity to try out some of the restaurants available in the area. The following is a list of the top ten restaurants I have been to. There are mini-reviews and map directions to each of the ten restaurants. If your favorite Santa Cruz restaurant isn’t mentioned, be sure to list it in the comments. You can also subscribe/unsubscribe to be notified anytime a new restaurant is added.

(continue reading…)