Something wild, majestic, mystical and awe-inspiring:
I would rather watch that 1000, make that 10000, times in a row rather than any of the crap spewing out of the thousands of channels of television network broadcasting. Compare to, for example:
Are you kidding me? MSNBC interrupts a discussion regarding ending the NSA for breaking news about a Justin Bieber DUI arrest? “Lean forward” my ass! TV has become almost 24/7 crap, shoved down the throat with some commercial intermissions to break up the raucous monotonous menagerie with more heinous loudly subliminal programming. May it all drown in Gullfoss.
As a man, you are either an asshole or you are gay. It is common knowledge that men are assholes, and nobody likes an asshole (except for gay men). Actually, some women like assholes because they think they can fix them. But that rarely works out.
You know who you are. Senders of spam. Email spammers. Comment spam hammers. When I find you I will crush you. Cornered quivering. Pain delivering. You contribute nothing. Impersonal quest of money gathering. Unsolicited panhandling. I bring megahurtz to your endeavors. Close up shop and quit quick. Piece of shit. Die.
It is funny how people develop pet peeves. My recent pet peeve is m’bye. Whenever I overhear somebody on their cell phone closing the call with m’bye it gives me the willies, like fingernails down the chalkboard.
Why does it bother me so much? Is it because the whole conversation preceding the m’bye sounded so fake? Is it because there is no reason to put that damn “m” in there? Maybe the “m” is used to soften the bye. It is a euphemistic bye. Bye is so sharp and poignant.
I can relate. When I feel like the bye would sound too sharp, I tend to say bye bye. That way, it doesn’t sound like, “Bye… (I hope I never have to speak to you again)”. However, I think bye bye is an accepted standard. This new m’bye crap is annoying.
What could possibly be worse than m’bye? M’BYE BYE Oh yes. The epitome of euphism. The “bye bye” prefixed with the “m”. Ouch!
I’m making an aspiration. May I never say “m’bye” or “m’bye bye” in any form of conversation closing, whether in person, on the phone or in any other context.