Category Archives: funnyz

Bacon Litmus Test

Bacon StripIf we are on a date,

and you will not try even one delicious bite of bacon

(non-GMO, locally raised of course)

it just isn’t going to work.

You know, pH / chemistry, that kind of stuff.

No Bacon = No Love Makin’ + Heart Breakin’.

But we can still be friends…

maybe.

Sorry, that’s the way it is.

Guys have their dignity and boundaries too.

Rainbow Hijackers

Unicorn Pooping Rainbow

Once upon a time, it was possible to look at a rainbow and appreciate the magical artistry of Mother Nature. Perhaps a whimsical idea about a pot of gold at the end or the science of refracted light would come to mind. Or maybe the mind would become still, immersed in the beauty of the moment.

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New Year’s Resolution 2015

I do not remember exactly how long ago it was, at least a number of years (perhaps more than a decade,) I began to notice the frequency with which “you know” is uttered in dialogues. “Are you desperately trying to convince me? No, I don’t know. But I do know that you are saying ‘you know’ too often.”

As time passed by, at some point I got infected. Just a small infection, like clearing the throat while thinking of what to say next. But now, if not consciously controlled, it is a full-blown speech disease, like an onslaught of tourette’s-induced inappropriateness. How could I let this happen?

In fact, America has a pandemic of Involuntary You Know Syndrome that threatens the very fabric of human discourse, and it is spreading to other countries. Forget Ebola. The TSA should be chatting people down before they leave the international airport and the FCC should be bleeping that sh*t out!

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Wurd!

OMG!! R U 4 serius? i saw dis on my iphone and thaught like i was gonna LOLZ but than my head hurt :((( it cant be for reelz :\ wanna watch som Friends reruns wit me tonite. Joey is hawt! :) LOL

Have you herd?

Moo Cow Have you herd the word? The word is “moo”. It is not a moot point. The herd likes popular moosic. The herd likes popular moovies. The herd likes moore of the same. If you don’t like like the herd, better moove out of the way because the herd likes to trample bovindividuals.