“It’s like the best thing ever. It is even better than Abdomenable Snowmans.”
This is what popped into my head last night while lying under the sheets, feeling proud of myself for getting to bed on time. It made me laugh… multiple times.
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I bought some bedtime tea. On the box it says, “Caffeine Free”.
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I don’t know about you, but for me the use of “we” as a literary device is obnoxious. Does the author really know that what they are writing about pertains to whoever is reading? Even if I can relate to something I am reading, I feel turned off by being generically included, as if the use of “we” would make me feel more engaged with the material.
I’ve used the first-person plural “we” before in some writings just because it is a standard literary tool, but decided a while back to never use it again.
And you too!
The second-person singular “you” is just as obnoxious, if not slightly more so. When an author uses “you” it is as if they are so arrogant that they don’t even feel what they are writing about pertains to them. “I as the author am directly addressing you, and you shall feel empathy with what I am writing.” However, the epitome of literary arrogance occurs when an author uses “we” (although they really mean “you”) just to come off as being more humble and less scathing.
We don’t like second-person singulars nor first-person plurals, and don’t you know it!
It may seem pompous or ego-centric to always use the first-person singular, “I”. But really, what other choice do I have? I can only speak for myself and what I have experienced to be true. Anything else would be insulting to the readers’ grammatical person.
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I could just sit down on the toilet and pee. There would be much less splashing and mess.
But no.
I must pee standing up! It is my last bastion as a male in this mixed up world.
By the way, isn’t the internet great?
Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up
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Okay creepy trench coat people, let me get this straight…
You packed carrots for the bunnies but you didn’t have enough room to stash a few hot dogs for dad?
I’ve got something to whisper to you too… F*** U!
Do you need that spelled out in integers?
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I feel so helpless, so alone. I want to cry. I try and make the tears come out but can’t. I am a monster. What has become of me? Darkness fills my soul.
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Music is meant to be shared. I’d like to start sharing some of my favorite songs from my favorite artists. DJ iseyz.
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If you have ever watched America’s Funniest Home Videos, you know what good fun it is to see a guy get kicked in the balls. Well, next time the mood strikes you to bust out the river dance (Irish Step Dancing) go ahead and “accidentally” kick yourself in the balls and see if you are still laughing.
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