Bullshit

There are various ways of dealing with bullshit.

The ignorant aren’t even aware that there is bullshit present, they just know at a certain level that something stinks.

Some people try to ignore it, convince themselves it isn’t there and hope nobody else notices it.

Others try to hide it by saturating the air with perfume and placing a bouquet of flowers in front of the pile.

Then there are those who say, “Mmmmmm. There is a steaming pile of bullshit in here and isn’t it lovely!? I hope you are enjoying the delicious fragrance filling your nostrils. And aren’t your new pet flies fun?” Usually, they are the ones responsible for the bullshit being there.

As a consequence, some broken souls are aware of the bullshit but have been trained to fool themselves into thinking it is a good thing.

I prefer to simply say, “There is bullshit in here and it needs to be cleared out.” Then, go get a shovel, scoop it up, dispose of it, scrub the floor and prevent piles from being deposited in the future.

New Year’s Resolution 2015

I do not remember exactly how long ago it was, at least a number of years (perhaps more than a decade,) I began to notice the frequency with which “you know” is uttered in dialogues. “Are you desperately trying to convince me? No, I don’t know. But I do know that you are saying ‘you know’ too often.”

As time passed by, at some point I got infected. Just a small infection, like clearing the throat while thinking of what to say next. But now, if not consciously controlled, it is a full-blown speech disease, like an onslaught of tourette’s-induced inappropriateness. How could I let this happen?

In fact, America has a pandemic of Involuntary You Know Syndrome that threatens the very fabric of human discourse, and it is spreading to other countries. Forget Ebola. The TSA should be chatting people down before they leave the international airport and the FCC should be bleeping that sh*t out!

Continue reading New Year’s Resolution 2015

Poking the Bear

Don't poke the bear!

Dumb idiots think that gas prices have magically dropped due to a mysterious mixture of market influences (with sprinkles.) Dumber idiots think they have dropped because government loves us. Evil idiots think it is a good idea to poke the bear. The wise think it would be better not to escalate a war with Russia as the aggressor. The wiser know it is nearly impossible to know what is really going on. Of course it is fun to believe in magic and evil schemes are exciting, but come on idiots, cut it out!